Monday, January 16, 2012
When you become a parent, you never imagine how hard your life can get. I never thought it would happen to me. I never thought I would be the one with a child with any sort of disability. My son was diagnosed with epilepsy almost 2 years ago - 1 month before I had my third child.
When we first were going through his seizures we had a ton of hope. I remember telling the doctors we wanted to hold off on giving him any medication for the first couple of months, thinking he would be okay.....thinking it was just a fluke and it was going to stop. Quickly we realized that they weren't going to stop and now he has been on so many different medications and nothing has worked.
So how as a parent can you sit and watch your child go through this day after day - especially when he is having seizures most, if not all of the day? I'm not sure. Although I never been one to really cry....some days I break down. I can't take watching him go through this anymore. He has so much love for everyone....I've never seen anyone with so much love for people.
Maybe God is using this to teach me to love more....to take less for granted.....to cherish the moments. I still have hope that he will get better and not have to deal with seizures anymore. I know that God loves Silas so much and that everything is in His hands.
I guess from here, we will be going to yet another EEG and possibly another MRI where he has to be sedated. It was really hard the last time we had to watch him get sedated, so I'm not looking forward to all of the emotions that will go along with that. Please pray for our little guy in these upcoming weeks, as we hear from the doctor for what's to come.